I'll fucking kill him. Then I'll let Mia, Leon and Carlos at him.
Dom's really fucking special. He's... amazing. He can give you everything with a look... and take it all away when he looks at someone else.
And when he fucks someone else? Your world crashes around you. He came home at LUNCH! His clothes reeked of alcohol (more than just Corona too) and cheap perfume... hickeys and bites all over him. Marks from another girl. You know, I saw him with Tran’s sister. Stood there and watched for ten fucking minutes because I was in such shock. Him fucking the one person I truly hate hurt more than this but this is a damn close second.
He had the nerve to come home like that. He had the nerve to TOUCH me! He had the nerve to grab me by the arm, make me look at him and his fucking hickeys and tell me he was SORRY! WHAT THE FUCK IS HE THINKING? He’s sorry? I don’t fucking care.
You know what? I’m NOT gonna kill him. I’m not gonna fuckin’ talk to him.
I… I can’t finish a fucking sentence in my own head. I’m in Mia’s room because ‘our’ room still smells like him – has his shit all over.
He’s gonna be the fucking death of me.
I want to go to him, tell him I’m sorry for yelling at him when I came in, tell him I love him and I know he was upset… tell him I’m sorry. I want to tell him that * I * am sorry. Why should I be sorry? For something I did three years ago? Something that started because I saw him making out with another girl and pick her up and take her inside? Something that started because Vince wasn’t ashamed that I knew as much about cars as he did if not more?
Or sorry that I hit him? Sorry I yelled at him and drove him to the arms of another girl? Why am * I * sorry? He’s the one marked, he’s the one who smells like cheap slut perfume and… I don’t have to be sorry…
But I am. I wish I could hate him. I can’t tell him I’m pregnant. Not now. Not after this bullshit. What I want is for him to carry me upstairs again… but that thought leads to ‘he still smells of skank’.
I have to get out of here. Just for a little while. I’ll tell Mia I’m going out… for a few days. Maybe I’ll go see Vince at the hospital in California. Or kill Trisha Tran, any Tran… racer skanks… burn the house down? I’ll decide when I get to California.
